I don’t feel like writing an entry this week.
I’ve done pretty much everything but write this entry. I graded papers. I rearranged my desk. I watched everything on the DVR. I’m probably going to run the vacuum cleaner later. But I haven’t wanted to write this entry.
Right now, it feels like an obligation. Like one more thing that I have to do on an already-long list of things to do: car repair, meetings, gatherings with friends… Writing this entry just doesn’t seem as pressing.
I could opt out for the week. If I did, my #inklings crew would chastise me as I delivered their penalty drinks. I’d feel a little like I had failed them–accountability has a way of instilling a bit of guilt.
It’s not that I don’t know what to write. A good trick to get past that–for me, when I’m hand writing something–is to write “I don’t know what to write” over and over until your brain finally clicks from the boredom and your thoughts flow out of the pen.
It’s more like I’ve had a pretty negative attitude this week, and I’m afraid of what might appear on the screen if I really wrote what was on my mind. Stress has a way of loosening that filter that keeps you from saying things you might regret.
And it’s times like these when I have to remember my grandma (and now my mom) who always said, “Count your blessings.”
- I have friends and family I can rely on.
- I have a safe home with all of the amenities I need (and it doesn’t look like a construction zone anymore!).
- I have 2 awesome dogs who know how to make me feel better.
- I have a great job that promises something new every day.
- I have good books to read.
- I got to see this sunrise in person.
That’s six. I feel a little better already.